


The Mysterious Mr. James Bonny

by handsomeviolets



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Dialect, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 12:17:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2692664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handsomeviolets/pseuds/handsomeviolets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Though he is often discussed, no one has actually met Anne's husband. Edward finds out why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mysterious Mr. James Bonny

It was a fine Caribbean morning on Nassau. The sun hadn’t quite reached its peak and a small breeze blew through the air bringing with it the smell of sweat and salt. 

“Annie, you look like yer runnin’ a bit late there lass.” Blackbeard chortled as he watched the red-haired barmaid throw on a soot-stained apron with a scowl at her proprietor. He was returning the look with equal resentment.

“We been waitin’ for ya all mornin’ sweetart! ‘ow could I ever start ma day without a look at th’ fine arse o’ yers,” Jack called out. 

Anne slopped four glasses down on the table with a clack, droplets of ale sprinkling the splintered wood.

“Well, you can all thank the ‘usband for it.” She sighed and hurried back to the kitchens behind the bar. 

“We din'nt even tell you what we wanted lass!” Edward laughed at her retreating form.

“If ya don’ want it, yer welcome to give it to Rackham, ‘e’ll take anythin’ he can get his dirty fookin’ 'ands on."

“Oy Lass!”  Calico Jack put in indignantly.

Edward took a sip of his ale and glanced over to where Mary Read, still dressed as her male counterpart, had her feet propped up on the table with a smirk on her face.

“Looks as if ol’ James Bonny’s done it again, ‘asn’t he?” Blackbeard downed his entire ale in one long gulp. Edward would have been impressed if he hadn’t known the man to do the same thing with anything else you set in front of him. 

“e’s an old scoundrel tha’s what,” Jack mumbled into his glass, “ave any of you actually met ‘im?” 

The congregation around the table gave their own unique forms of ‘no’, which mostly involved baritone grunting. 

“‘Cause I’m jus’ saying if anyone would ‘ave met ‘im, it woulda been me as I’m ‘avin’ his wife an’ all."

“Now thas’ some shite.” Edward laughed and Blackbeard joined in. “You ‘aven’t ‘ad a good fuck since ol’ Estelle died ah the French disease last year."

“Ya shut yer filthy lyin’ mouth, Kenway. Anne an I ‘ave somethin’. S’not like you could even feel love mate. Ya seen the way she looks a’ me?” Jack stared longingly into the distance and Edward let out a disgusted grunt. 

“Looks at ya like yer a victim of the French disease,” Kidd chimed in. 

“Bu’ what I’m tryin’ ta say is that no ones ever met this ‘James Bonny.'"

“Dunno, he sounds like a right cunt ta me,” Edward sighed. “Isn’t ‘e one of them pious types?"

“Jus’ cause some people can follow a creed don’t mean they’re cunts, Edward.” Kidd slammed down his tankard and got up from the table. 

Blackbeard looked between the two and then raised his bushy eyebrows as Kidd swaggered back into the bustling streets of Nassau.

“What crawled up ‘is hairy arse?” Jack asked.

“Kenway, apparently.” 

“Oh he wishes.”

“Oy! An’ here I thought we were discussing the mysterious James Bonny.” Edward attempted to hide the blush that rose in his cheeks and poured the remainder of Kidd’s unfinished glass into his own. 

“Well, I mean it is jus’ a rare opportunity, he’s normally out at sea.” Thatch took pity on him.

“Was’ ‘is ship called again?” Jack asked, scrunching up his face and well on his way to spending the rest of the day drunk.

“”dunno mate, thought he traveled on several."

“As the leaders of Nassau it’s our job to know ‘os comin’  in and ‘os goin,’” Blackbeard called for another round, “Kenway, I’m putting you in charge of this little investigation of ours."

 

* * *

 

It was the wee hours of the morning in Nassau. The crowd at the Old Avery had long since dispersed, except for the old haphazard drunkard asleep on a table or passed on in his own sick on the deck boards. One of these men, and in fact a regular of the Avery’s spartan and splintering floor boards, was Jack Rackham.

Edward accidentally tread on him as he attempted to sneak around the back of the bar where Anne Bonny prepared to head home. The other man let out a groan and Edward cursed him. 

“Wha’ th’ fuck ya doin’ ma’e?” 

“I’m tryin’ to follow Anne home. We discussed this earlier, yer a right toss up."

Calico Jack rolled noisily to his feet, “If th’ers anyone who shol’ be followin’ Annie ‘ome, it’ll be me."

“Oh fine you great arse, but you have to keep quiet,” Edward begrudgingly acquiesced, predicting the way Jack would howl if he was denied. 

Anne, amazingly, hadn’t heard any of their squabblings and was making her way down the back steps of the bar. 

“Oy, why d’we ‘ave to sneak about like this?” Calico Jack asked a little too loudly from the midst of a bush Edward had tossed them both into as Anne stopped to glance behind her.

“Anne is a well-to do-woman and you know her husband’s lookin’ for any excuse to make her quit her job at the Avery. Can’t have a pair of pirates show up out of the blue escortin’ yer wife home, can ya?” Edward’s voice hissed through the undergrowth.

“Still don’ like ‘avin ta scurry about in these bushes, ya can feel all the bugs crawlin' through the holes in yer boots. Now I know why ya seem such a dirty scoundrel, Kenway, layin' about with these things."

Edward gave him an incredulous look and a cuff around the ear, “Like it's any better than the places you’ve been."

Anne lived a ways from the main bustling streets of Nassau in one of the more isolated homes on the outside of town. Edward had never before been arsed to know which one exactly. Now that he saw it, he was a bit surprised. It was a nice little cottage. A few trees were scattered around, the boards that made up the walls looked like they had once belonged to the haul of a ship, but they were clean with only a few cracks between them. A small window with oiled paper stretched across the frame stood open, allowing the cool night air into the house, still hot from a cooking fire. Edward positioned himself underneath the window frame to listen to the conversation and Jack stumbled to his side, nearly on top of him. Edward shoved him away, removing the hands that had caught themselves on his shoulders. From the inside he could hear Anne’s voice.

“Jim, ya know ya need to stop keepin’ me in bed so long in the mornin's, if ‘m la’e one more time that ol’ bartenders gonna ‘ave my ‘ead for it."

“‘e wouldn’ dare,” another voice responded, a man's voice, but Edward was hesitant to call it that. “I coul’ support ya of course, ya don’ need ta work there wit’ those louts."

Anne laughed charmingly, her foot steps echoed across the floor. “Some a those louts are yer mates."

“Some,” the other voice responded.

Edward’s gut clenched. He looked over at Jack, who judging from his obvious offense didn’t suspect.

There was a moment of silence followed by a small gasp.

“Now, when ya gonna ‘ave me aboard that… vessel a’yers."

“Oh Annie."

Edward heard a rustle of cloth and Anne's giggling. 

“Is she undressing?” Jack attempted to peak up through the window and Edward forced him back down. "MATE."

Edward cursed himself and James’ idiotic need for secret keeping before knocking Jack out in one swift movement. Jack was unconscious with his head in an ant's nest, and Edward couldn’t bring himself to move him. 

The noises inside didn’t dissipate and Edward, thinking it safe, needed to confirm his suspicions. He slowly stood up from his crouch and glanced inside.

“You can be my Siren any day, lass."

“Somehow, I prefer hellcat."

There were dirty dishes scattering the table, the smell of a freshly made meal wafted through the rooms. An iconic red bandana and jacket lay discarded on the rug-covered floor. In the corner stood a large bed, the one thing in the room that marked the house as belonging to a pirate, rich embroidered quilts tossed haphazardly upon the mattress. On it lay James Kidd, one pale breast exposed from her sailcloth shirt, a wild light in her eyes as Anne finished disrobing and walked slowly over to her.

Edward knew he was trespassing on something intimate. He had never seen Mary so relaxed, so off guard that she wasn’t aware of his own clumsy attempts at espionage. Still, he watched as Anne’s sheet of red hair obscured James’s face from sight as she leaned in for a savage kiss. They grappled with each other, the remainder of Kidd’s clothes flung onto the floor as she pulled something smooth and phallic from under the bed.

 

* * *

 

Thatch, Edward, and a bloodied Jack sat around the same table the next afternoon nursing a few pints. 

“An’ then Mister-bloody-Bonny came ou’ an clocked me o’er the ‘ead jus’ because ‘ed seen me lookin’ at ‘is wife!” Jack clutched a damp rag to the side of his pulsing head. 

“What you lot upta’?” Kidd fell onto the bench across from Edward. 

Edward choked on his ale and hastily set down the mug. 

“Apparently James Bonny ‘as a good arm on ‘im.” Thatch laughed and slapped Jack on the back who continued scowling. 

There was a brief stillness that came to Mary’s frame. Edward wouldn’t have noticed it if he hadn’t studied her movements as an assassin. 

“An’ how exactly didja find that out?” 

“Sent out Eddy here to gather some more information on our Mr. Bonny, an’ Rackham’s gathered a bit more than ‘e wished."

Edward could feel Kidd’s cold glare bore into the side of his head. He forced himself to grin. 

“So what exaclty did ya find out ‘ere.” Kidd’s voice was level, barely. 

“Oh well they’re at it like they got only hours ta-"

“As I was saying lads,” Edward interrupted, “He’s nothign to worry ‘bout, innocuous fellow ‘e was. Great fat man."

Mary unclenched slightly, but she still looked close to murder. 

“Nair done an ‘ard day's work in his life, I’d say Annie works twice as ‘ard.” He gulped down a few sweet mouthfuls that could very well have been his last, “And with a beard, a bit more craggly than Thatch’s here,"

“. . . I see” Kidd considered him for a moment, “Then I s'pose you got no more reason to go on botherin’ Anne"

“I got all the more reason-“ Jack huffed.

“An' ‘ow did this innocuous Mr. Bonny manage to knock you out, Jack?” Kidd peered at him suspiciously. Edward was beginning to understand that Mary’s hatred for Calico Jack Rackham extended beyond the morals of her creed. 

“Clocked me round the ‘ead with a fat fist ‘parently."

“'Parently?" Kidd parroted. 

“He was piss drunk, as always, can hardly remember a thing, the toss-up."

Thatch looked briefly suspicious but the expression disappeared seconds later. 

“I do have to say though-“ Edward watched Kidd take a swig of his own glass, “e's got a great massive cock."

Kidd made a sputtering noise, eyes wide.

“S’ow you use it…” Jack muttered solemnly.

 

* * *

 

A thin-fingered hand hooked itself around the back of Edward’s hood and quickly dragged him behind the corner of a building. He spun around cursing and was unsurprised to find Mary Read appraising him with sharp brown eyes. 

“Yer a better man than I might ‘ave thought, Kenway."

“Ya said you’d unman me if I let any of your secrets slip, I haven’t forgotten.” 

She smirked at him approvingly. “Ya gotta good memory, threat still stands."

“Now,” Edward unconsciously moved one of his hands to cover his groin and it wasn’t wasted on Kidd, “I’m beginning to wonder just how many disguises you have."

Kidd sighed, “Mary Read, James Kidd, James Bonny, I’m all of ‘em. Jus’ a few of the names I wasn’ given at birth."

“And why isn’t there an Anne Read wandering around? Has a nice ring to it."

“Nah, I claimed the name Bonny a few years back. I'm not lettin' it go."

“Ah really?"

“Ay man, once on our wedding night, an a few days before from the first Mr. Bonny. Horrible little man 'e was, an’ a bleeder."

Edward frowned momentarily and Mary watched the realization dawn on his face. Well he certainly wouldn’t put it past her.

Kidd leaned in until her lips nearly brushed Kenway’s ear, “Glad ya can appreciate a good cock when you see one though, Kenway.” She winked at him, before sauntering back down the dark muggy streets of Nassau. 


End file.
